Fired up, or Fired? Speak up without burning a bridge
You’d think he was fightin’ mad.
After only seven months on the job, he and (his entirestaff) were fired this week.
He lost what has sometimes been called the best job in theworld.
And he’s being replaced by the very person who had the joboriginally.
But Conan O’Brian spoke of his job loss at NBC with hisusual flair and sense of humor.
“Tonight I am allowed to say whatever I want. No, I reallyam,” he said, prefacing what the audience expected to be an outpour of sarcasmand vitriol. But, no, he diplomatically praised NBC and thanked the company forall that they did for him for the past twenty years.
That, my friends, is how you do it.…with kindness,sincerity, and discretion. If you loseyour job or suffer the loss of an important client, even if you feel it’sunfair, unwarranted and plain wrong, it makes sense to filter your words so yousay the right thing.
Burning your bridge in 2010 means you’ll have no where to goshould opportunities ever come your way.
Here are tips to helpyou filter what you’re thinking and make smart choices of what to say:
- Make a list of everything that’s bothering you – what makes you angry, frustrated, and even vindictive.
- Take full responsibility for each of these. How did I contribute to this problem?
- What issues are worth sharing with my boss?
- By sharing this with your boss, will any of this help you keep your job or move you in a direction where you can expect a positive referral?
- If there is no real rhyme or reason to share (it won’t help your future), say nothing.
- And in that case, thank your power people at your work for everything they’ve done. Show appreciation. Keep both feet in the business until the day you leave. And feel proud that if you left the bridge in tact, you can depend on your boss for a positive referral.
Conan’s farewell speech came probably after many days ofheated negotiation. But we didn’t feel any of that when he spoke the othernight because he showed restraint as well as humility.
Once the angersubsides and logic kicks in, you can make much smarter decisions that may provevaluable some day in helping further your career. Please contact us for a free report and if you would like help with communication at work or home.
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Ever shoot yourself in the foot?
Ever shoot yourself in the foot?
We see it in the news every day.
Republicans associate Health Care with such terms as Death Panels, Government Take Over, and Obama socialism, and turn off voters with their fear mongering and paranoia.
Democrats, on the other hand, optimistic and change-oriented, become stupefied by over confidence and lose the most important senate seat in the country, risking any accomplishments they've made in the last 12 months
It's nice to know we're not alone when we make dumb mistakes...but what can we learn from this?
What gets you into trouble?
What's the one thing you'd like to change about yourself that would make you more successful, earn you more money, and keep you from ever shooting yourself in the foot again?
Call in your questions. Get answers from two very different perspectives. And discover ways to create rapport with even the most troublesome people on earth!
| Phone # to Dial: 323-476-3672 | | | Use Conf ID: 921346# |
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why?
Wow! I recently attended an even over several days with a group of men and women. Each time the leader (female) gave feedback to men in the group, we were given brutal, negative feedback. (Trust me, 6 others, including the women in the group verified my reality)
Women in the group were given competent feedback. By the third day of training, the entire group was negative and frustrated.
Later in the week, our leader let slip she had been divorced and had a bad encounter with several men since. Shew was overheard saying "I hate men!"
As a marital therapist, I have had several encounters with both men and women who have had horrible relationships, based on staying together through arguing. Amazing!
Most people stay in these relationships out of fear, low self esteem and NOT KNOWING how to deal with anger.
When should a couple collaborate? Compromise? Dominate?Placate?
How to communicate with each other and resolve conflict has not been taught in school. Or college.
Tune in tonight and listen for some answers and some fun in how to resolve conflict!
Angry men, angry women, angry at each other! How to cope with that?
- Why do men and women sometimes thrive on anger?
- What are the best techniques to break this cycle?
- How can you express anger effectively to enhance relationships?
Join your hosts Karen & Brian
Our Weekly show Hosted by Dr. Brian Grossman & Karen Marzo International Speakers and Consultants on Communications & Leadership.
Phone number to call:
Customer Service-2010
It's so common, I had to post this;
I ended the year with a double header: Two classic examples of rudeness and unprofessionalism , back to back.
It started early in the evening when I went to CVS to buy vitamins that cost $11.46
After waiting in line for nearly fifteen minutes, I gave the cashier $21 dollars and 46 cents and she gave me back $9.
“I gave you a $20 bill and a $1 bill plus the change,” I told her.
“I know, you did.” She snapped back.
“So you should give me $10 back, right? “
She looked at me like I had stepped on her dog.
“Here” she slapped the ten dollar bill on the counter. And then she shouted, “Next customer!”
So I walked out of the store on this glorious warm Southern California evening, near the end of this difficult and challenging year, feeling strangely dismissed and angry. Should I say something to her or to her manager? Or should I just keep my comments to myself?
I decided it’s New Year’s Eve --- say nothing and go next door to Von’s Market, and buy the few groceries I needed.
Here, the transactions went smoothly. I used a credit card. I grabbed the bag of groceries from Wynona, the checker’s assistant, and as she bagged the lettuce and bananas, she yelled at the grocery cashier on the next aisle. “Alice, is this day ever going to end? How about you? When do you get off?”
Alice yelled back. “I’m working an extra shift tonight. I’ll be here till midnight.”
“Oh Crap! I can’t wait to get off work. I don’t know how you do it. I get off at nine, thank God!”
And I walked out of the store, wondering if “Oh Crap!” Wynona and Alice even knew there were customers there, and did it matter that they shared a somewhat private conversation with a couple dozen customers shopping and walking through Von’s on New Year’s Eve?
It was nearly 7 p.m., now, and I forgot the bag of ice needed that night, so I pulled into the local liquor store down the street from my house. The guy in front of me stood chatting with the store owner.
The store owner watched me waiting, and leaning forward, she touched the man’s shoulder. “Let me help this customer, and then we can talk some more.”
I paid for the ice and thanked her. And as I’m walking out, she made sure I could hear her: “ I always take great care of my wonderful customers. Thank you for coming in! Have a happy and healthy New Year!”
I drove home, feeling appreciated and I suppose, a bit loved. After all, I’ve just been rewarded by being told I was one of her wonderful customers. And I was!
Here’s the dilemma.
That liquor store owner invests her energy in her store and in her customers. All she sells, really, is service. I can get ice and liquor anywhere, but when I go to her strip mall store, I am buying quick, helpful, cordial, professional service, and it costs her nothing to smile or, for that matter, to be nice.
Would she get the same service from someone she hired for, let’s say, ten bucks an hour?
Why not?
How is it more difficult for employees to simply apologize when they make mistake (“I’m so sorry. My mistake. Here’s your correct change. Have a great New Year!”) or save the backstage conversations for breaks instead of having them in front of the customers.
Is it because these employees make less money? Do they feel disrespected by their boss so they purposely act rude? Or are they simply ignorant of the image they create in front of the public and could care less about the unprofessionalism they display?
I don’t know, but if these situations sound familiar to you – and you work in an environment where you talk to customers every day --- here are my two bits of advice:
1. If you’re in the retail business, you’re on stage. Don’t draw the curtain and create backstage talk/gossip/private chat that you wouldn’t want heard in front of everyone. One kind word to a customer can lead to hundreds of return visits. One rude response can lead to a thousand negative comments. Look at this blog. There must be at least four of you reading this!
2. If you make a mistake, my friends, apologize. Just say “I’m sorry.” How difficult is that? It’s the simplest thing in the world. We all make mistakes. Acknowledge it, and let the customer know you’re sorry. If it’s not your fault, that’s a whole other issue. Nevertheless, be kind and courteous and sincere to your customers for they are the ones who make your future possible – whether it gives you a paycheck or creates the opportunity for you to meet someone who will eventually pay you for your wonderful service and expertise.
By the way, my sister-in-law hires (steals) customer service people from stores ALL the time. Why spend money from an ad when you can see people in action at your local Macy’s or Penny’s and recruit the best right then and there!
Bottom line:
If you’re thinking this job stinks, I’m a low paying employee. I hate what I’m doing. This customer drives me crazy. When do I get off? That thinking will manifest itself in our attitude and behavior.
So think different.
Convince yourself of this: I’m glad to work here. This is a blessing. These customers depend on me. I am engaged to my job because I may meet someone who will see my skills and reward me for my expertise.
That, my friends, can create a very different behavior and customer service environment that can be both remarkable, achievable, and rewarding.
Invictus/ Great Leadership
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade
,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
What can Texas Tech firing of Coach Mike Leach teach business leaders?
Two sides of the argument: The player was a slacker, and the coach can discipline a player anyway he wants. Kids need to obey authority. OR,the AD and the coach have been at odds for years, and when this controversy became public, and the coach was due a huge contract bonus, he was fired.
What can this teach Corporate America and employees?
- Managers and supervisors must be on the same page as their boss on as many issues as possible.
- Managers and supervisors must check with their bosses before disciplining and employee.
- Employees have more power to speak up and report abuses by authority figures.
- The better the communication between leaders and employees, the better the company can perform as a whole.
Dr. Brian Grossman is a communication expert. He has been a consultant and trainer working with businesses and individuals to optimize their communication and performance throughout the
A Christmas Poem
That opens up our eyes
To the unexpected gifts in life—
Each day a sweet surprise.
For the people whom we know;
Like festive Christmas candles,
Each one has a special glow.
A dash of Christmas food,
(Amazing how a piece of pie
Improves our attitude!)
Wrap it up in love and peace,
Decorate with optimism, and
Our joy will never cease.
We know we will remember
To be in the Christmas spirit,
Even when it's not December.
Why New Years Resolutions only last 5 Days/ Only 2% fullfill New Years Resolutions
Him: " Honey, this year I am going for it! You have inspired me! I am going to lose weight and exercise regularly"
Her: "That's great. I am so proud of you. I can already see you thinner!"
Christmas Eve: "Let's enjoy tonight. I'll get started directly after New Years." "Your right. This is not the week to start. Let's enjoy the week of family and parties."
Have you ever started the holidays like this? How many times have you set admirable goals, gotten excited by the goals or goals and fallen short? Take a look at the most popular New years Resolutions:
1) Spend more time with family and friends
2) Exercise more to be fit
3) Lose the bulge
4) Quit smoking
5) Quit drinking
6) Get out of debt
7) Learn something new
8) Help others
9) Enjoy life more
10) Get organized
So, of the above, how many have you tried? What has been your past success? How long do you commit? Is there a difference between how men and women approach goal setting? Most people follow through with New Years goals for five days. (5 days)
Why New Years resolutions fail:
Have you heard of the phrase practice makes perfect? If you have not lost weight consistently, or stopped smoking before, for longer than six months? If you do not have a past history of success with changing habits, New Years resolutions are doomed for failure. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. When anyone sets goals without a past history, it is unrealistic to have success. Also, once we make a mistake, we beat ourselves up and over eat, over drink, over smoke.
How to have success with New Years or any type of goal:
To be your best, to accomplish success, try the tried and true basics. Do not try and reinvent the wheel. Whatever your goal is, set DAILY goals. Just eat well or not smoke for one day. Then two days. After five days, your chances of success go up 50%. Many of you are human, so, you might fall back. It's okay. Here is where blame, guilt and arguments start. If you blow it, START OVER. Just start over. A great template:
1) Write down your goals
2) Track them
3) Start day to day
4) Put a week of success together
5) Find a way to have enjoyment of fun with your daily successes
6) Get a support person to talk with
7) Avoid the beat up/guilt trip
For more help, or just to have fun, call in, or e-mail in: Monday December 21, 2009 6PM PST with Karen Marzo and Dr. Brian Grossman
http://www.genderlyspeaking.com/Weekly_Tel-Talk.php
Do You Have an Addiction / Tick / a-Holic? Let's Talk!
What do Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, David Duchovny andformer President Clinton have in common?
A) Bigtime celebrity
b) Powerful and influential
C) Scandal negatively impacted career
D) Claimed an ism, addiction, to avoid responsibility
DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!! You win if you picked D.
Celebrities and high powered people tend to be perceived asable to avoid legal responsibilities. Currently, Tiger Woods has chosen toavoid talking with the press, so all others can do is speculate on what hashappened in his personal life.
The question: What would happen if you came home and werecaught in an extra-marital affair? Would you be able to claim a current addiction or ism?
At work:
Anti-project addiction-“I get too anxious in crunch time with too many projects”
Late: On time ism- “I can’t leave home at the correct time”
Negaholic: “Everyone and everything is negative anddifficult”
At home:
Messyholic-“I am allergic to cleaning”
Lack of attentionism-“Concentration makes me dizzy”
All relationships can be healthier, prosperous and fun. Weall make mistakes, and some are more costly than others. How can own up if you blow it? How can you repair a relationship at home or work if you blow it? What is a real addictioninstead of a flavor of the month?
Join Karen Marzo and Dr. Brian Grossman tonight at 6PM PST,December 15, 2009. Call in, or e-mail in questions tonight at 6PM PST tonight for answers. You can listen on the web live. Call in numbers and question submission are at www.genderlyspeaking.com,click on weekly Tele seminar tab.
Take a look at this Newsweek article:
http://www.abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/tiger-woods-sex-addict/story?id=9295425
Why corporate sponsors will stick with Tiger Woods
Revelations that Tiger Woods has had ongoing extra marital affairs has left many with another fallen mentor/role model. Charles Barkley was quoted as saying “I am not a role model.” Tiger tried to pick up on that theme with a comment “I am not perfect.”
Tiger Woods has tried to be a role model for children, golfers of all ages, and any person interested in high performance and excellence. However, his sponsorships and marketing has been directed toward men. Gillette: “The Best a man can get.” “Tag Heuer: Success: It’s a mind game.” “Accenture: Highest Performance Delivered.” Nike golf clothing and clubs.
Recent comments by Tiger Woods himself and revelations from
tabloid magazines all confirm Tiger Woods has had one or more extra marital
affairs. The
- Who will replace the spokesperson?
- How widespread is the controversy?
- Have sales dipped past a tipping point?
- Has a large protest emerged?
- What is the “Q rating?”
Many jokes abound by Jay Leno, David Letterman and hundreds of Internet sites. Yet, there has been more commentary that “this is a private matter” than groups demanding that corporate sponsors drop Tiger Woods. Women’s groups are being supportive of Tigers’ wife Elin than demand sponsors drop him.
Most of Tigers’ commercials have been pulled from TV. He has committed to not holding a press conference. This leaves others to speak for him. Eventually, he will hold a press conference. Whether or not Tiger and Elin stay together is a question for them to make, not outside influences. Questions we can ask:
· Is there a double standard when it comes to scandal and corporate sponsors?
· Where has the Golf press been? (Not reporting behavior that has been on going)
·
How accepting or non accepting is
· Are women spokespersons’ treated differently than male spokespersons’’?
Join Karen Marzo and Dr. Brian Grossman tonight at 6PM PST. Call in, or e-mail in questions tonight at 6PM PST tonight for answers. You can listen on the web live. Call in numbers and question submission are at www.genderlyspeaking.com, click on weekly Tele seminar tab.
